Motivation and procrastination: the swings and roundabouts of being a writer

They say there’s no rest for the wicked. I don’t really know what that means, but if I were to interpret it literally, I might wish I were wicked. Maybe then, I wouldn’t be battling procrastination for the second time this year.

When motivation is the dominant paradigm with which I work, I write anywhere between one and three thousand words a day. Every day. But when the drive wanes and the procrastination demon appears on my shoulder and starts whispering in my ear about being tired, or cleaning the house, washing the car, making that phone call, or Twitter and Facebook, or any of the myriad of other misnomers it uses to tempt me away from writing, I can do nought but despair.

I need to start THAT manuscript, you know the one—it’d been incubating right the way through writing the last one. I’d kept it on the back-burner lest it detract from the one I’d actually been writing. But now that that one is finished, a terrible thing has happened. Even though I’ve written the synopsis, developed the plot, created and matured both the protagonist and the antagonist, I haven’t written a word. Not a single word.

I’m familiar enough with my own writing habits to realise that, for whatever reason, procrastination usually occurs for me as I’m nearing the end of a manuscript, and if not addressed judiciously it can develop and harden into a full-on writers’ block. And that, my friends, is a whole other ball game.

But this time, I’m at the beginning of a manuscript that has been incubating one way or another for a very long time. I’m ready. Ben and Olivia (my main characters) are ready.

Everything is in place. I’m keen and enthusiastic, even excited about it. So what’s the problem?

Perhaps it’s that the next project has begun the process of inception before I’ve penned the beginnings of this one. It’s a dilemma. Both are the beginnings of series, both are YA and both have the potential to be ongoing projects.

I write because I love writing. I love creating worlds, and scenarios, and people who then dominate my life for the year or so that each novel takes to complete. It’s a joy. There is a saying along the lines of ‘if you love what you do, you never have to work a day in your life,’ and it’s true. I can (and do) spend every waking hour writing—when I’m in the zone.  Or maybe it’s just that the one I’m ‘supposed’ to be starting is the artefact for my PhD, alongside which I need to write a symbiotic exegesis. Maybe it adds a layer of pressure that is preventing me from even commencing the project. Fear of failure? Perhaps. Though I would’ve thought that might apply regardless—writers, by the very nature of what they do put themselves up for public scrutiny anyway.

But there is a flip side. And when the procrastination demon hits, or the writers’ block appears, it all comes crashing down and my bliss morphs into headache-inducing, teeth-grinding, wits-ending hard work. I can better understand (intellectually and emotionally) the procrastination that occurs nearing the end of a novel, it’s part of getting ready to farewell a project. But it’s the procrastination at the beginning of the project that has me perplexed. Words of wisdom….anyone?

Why do you write?

Someone asked me this this morning. It was in response to a litany of whiny complaints from me about my current lack of motivation (or what I prefer to call writer’s block),  procrastination, financial pressure, little support, isolation… I could go on and on. And I did. Until the question was posed.

I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Why do I write? Why do I write? I write because I have to. I write because there is something inside me that is only satisfied when I am creating narrative. I feel alive when I write. Maybe it’s because I’m creating worlds ―I’m taking a seed of a thought and growing it and nurturing it and turning it into a person, a plot, a theory, a life, a world in its own right! Maybe it’s a power thing. There is enormous pleasure in being able to manipulate language sufficiently to evoke an emotional response in someone. Or maybe it’s an opportunity to live vicariously through the characters I create. As a writer I explore the extremes of human nature on all levels, from the sweet and innocent to the evil and vindictive. I can explore any job or any relationship, I can take the kind of risks I never could in real life.

When I write I step outside of myself, of these four walls. For five hours a day (on a good writing day) I become someone else, somewhere else. It’s the same pleasure I get from reading, the same suspended reality that occurs when you allow yourself to float off on a wave into a shifting time-space continuum. Or maybe I write just because I can.

Writing is not the easiest path I could’ve chosen, and after listening to me whinge this morning my friend said simply: “Why not just go back to having a full-time job?” Of course, my response to that is: I have a full-time job. I’m a writer. Problem is, it doesn’t pay me the same amount each fortnight ― or sometimes at all. I have to supplement it with a second job. And I’m very lucky to have found one that pays regularly (at least during term time) and keeps writing at the forefront of my mind.

Even on days like today when it all seems too hard, there is no choice. I have to write. Despite the frustration of hitting the wall three-quarters of the way through a manuscript that had been flowing well, despite not being quite sure if I’m going to manage to stay on top of the bills this month, despite people thinking I’m mad, or sad, or both, there is no option. I have to write. Because it’s who I am. I am a writer.

So tell me, why do you write?

Perfection and Procrastination

It seems to be a problem for every writer I’ve come across. Many claim to hold the Ultimate Procrastinator title. But I have to say, it belongs to me – I am the Queen of Procrastination.

There, I’ve said it. Publicly. Is that what it takes to free me of this terrible curse? I hope so. It’s not as if I don’t love being writer – I absolutely do! I love the relative solitude of the writer lifestyle, I love getting lost in plots, conversing with characters while walking the dog; I love the dream-state of turning anything and everything into a story-line, I love workshopping my manuscript in my writing group.

Above all, I love whiling away the hours sitting in front of my computer, just me and my plot. And Facebook and Twitter and Email and Skype and YouTube and… and there it is! A day gone by and not a word written. Ugh! Sometimes day after day. But there are things I have to do, people I have to chat with, vids I have to see. How else would I stay on top of the solitary lifestyle a writer has?

It’s not as if I intend to let the days slip by. I have three out of seven days each week dedicated to writing. Three days of the week for working. And one day for other stuff. Except for school holidays – these are for writing. Exclusively. It’s the perfect scenario. Each year I intend to increase the writing time and reduce the working time by one day a week until I can support myself as a writer full-time.

It’s a great plan. Except for the procrastination. I’d be almost there. Except for the procrastination. There has to be a cure for this terrible affliction. There has to be a way to overcome that which is pushing the completion of my novel further and further away…

Anyone…?

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